Skip to content

In 2013 in the UK, one in every 137 babies was either stillborn or died in the first 4 weeks of life

Here in N. Ireland, over 3 babies a week are stillborn or die in the first 4 weeks of life.

Commemorating your baby

 

Anniversaries throughout the year and helping you to get through them

There will be many special days each year which may be more difficult than others and may be a strong reminder that your baby is no longer with you. Birthdays, due dates, religious holidays, mother's day and father's day to name a few can be filled with a tremendous sadness. However in most cases the build up to them can often be worse than the actual day itself. It can help to take some time out on these special days for yourself and your family to remember your baby and pay tribute to him or her. Preparing yourself in advance of these days and planning what you will do during the day can help make them less of a trial and in turn create some happy, positive memories in connection with your baby. Photographing whatever you do and making a special album of the day is a great way of helping you and your loved ones remember your special day. Here are some ways in which parents have marked these important days:

 


Baby Portraits

Artist Sue Fernandes can produce soft pastel portraits of your baby from any photographs that you have.

Artist background

 

Balloon Release

'On our baby's due date, together with our family, we released balloons. Our other kids drew pictures and we wrote letters to her and attached them to the balloons. We now have happy memories of this day which we had dreaded for so long.'

 

Buying A Present For Your Baby

Many parents like to buy presents for their babies especially on their birthday or at Christmas. This is perfectly normal.

"January 6 will always be "Elizabeth's day", as that was the day she was born and the day she died. We could not buy her a birthday present, so we buy things for the home that we could remember as purchases made on that day in remembrance."

Have your baby's handprint or footprint imprinted onto a piece of silver jewellery

From a clear, good quality photocopy of your baby's handprint or footprint, Smallprint can produce a silver pendant in a variety of different shapes with an exact impression of your baby's handprint or footprint on it. Your baby's name can also be engraved on it if you wish.
more information...

 

Christmas Decorations

'I bought 6 angel Christmas decorations, one for myself, one for my husband and one for each for our parents. Every year we can say a special prayer for our daughter as we hang her decoration on our trees.'

 

Drawing In The Sand And Watching The Waves Wash It Away.

'With our other 2 children we wrote Daisy's name in the sand, drew flowers around it and sat and waited as the waves came in and washed them away.'

 

 

 

Going Away On Holiday

'We went away for a few days to somewhere that was really special to us. We just wanted to be by ourselves where no one knew us.'

Lighting A Candle

You could make a special candle for your baby.

Loss Of A Twin - A Birthday And An Anniversary

'Rebekah's first birthday was also Jayne's first anniversary of birth and death. I didn't want my sadness to ruin Rebekah's first birthday. I held a coffee morning and cake sale for charity in our house. The invitations and posters had written at the bottom "In memory of Jayne 18.5.95". In the afternoon I had a big party for Rebekah where all our family came. It was a great day and we raised £595. I really felt that although Jayne was no longer with us her presence had been really acknowledged that day.'

Memory Box Or Book

Create a box or book with all the mementoes you have collected together to help you remember your baby.

Message In A Bottle

Write a letter to your baby and throw it into the sea.

Name A Star

There are many websites through which you can name a star.

www.starregistry.co.uk
www.universal-gifts.com
www.starlisting.co.uk

Organising A Fundraising Event For Charity Or Make A Donation

'We organised a sponsored Christmas Day swim in the sea and raised some money for charity.'

Paper Boat

Make and decorate a paper boat and sail it out to sea, down a river or on a lake. You could even float candle in it.

Paper Plane

Make and decorate a paper plane and fly it from somewhere really high.


Physical Challenges

Physical exercise has been proven to relieve stress and anxiety. 'Around the time when our daughter would have been due, we climbed a mountain. It felt liberating to conquer the mountain and we had a toast to our beautiful baby at the top of it.'

 

 

Planting a Tree

Many plants/flowers have special meanings. Choose something suitable to our climate. Bear in mind that it may be very upsetting if the plant/tree dies or is damaged.

"Our daughter, Elizabeth, ws stillborn on 6th January 1989. We have an Elizabeth rose in our garden that we can see fro the kitchen window as a constant reminder."

Scattering Your Baby's Ashes

'On Daisy's due date we scattered her ashes on the beach in Donegal where we had our wedding photos taken.'

Sponsor Something In Your Baby's Name

You can adopt an animal at Belfast Zoo. www.belfastzoo.co.uk
Many charities operate schemes where you can sponsor a child or an aid project.
www.bothar.org
www.oxfam.org.uk

Throwing Flowers Into The Sea/River

'On Joshua's birthday and at Christmas time we put white tulips in the sea. White tulips because when he was born in March, in Belgium, they were growing everywhere and they are such a simple and beautiful flower. We put them in the sea because this is where we scattered his ashes. Our two other children put flowers in the sea as well and then we generally all shout a big 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA'! We so rarely get to hear or speak his name and this helps.'

Time Capsule

Bury a time capsule containing things relating to your baby.

Poems

'Around the time of Daisy's first anniversary, I wanted to let her mum know that I still think about her and that she'll never be forgotten. So I wrote her a poem. It's not the greatest poem ever, but it was a way for me to express some of my thoughts and was a gift that I know she'll treasure.'