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In 2013 in the UK, one in every 137 babies was either stillborn or died in the first 4 weeks of life

Here in N. Ireland, over 3 babies a week are stillborn or die in the first 4 weeks of life.

Poems

 

Heavenly Garden

God has a lovely garden
In His mansion up above,
He tends the garden every day
With tenderness and love.
The flowers that are in it
Are the sweetest and the best,
To get into God’s garden
They have to pass a test.
He goes around them every day
Treating them with care,
You’re really very lucky
You have a flower there.
And when you reach that garden
You’ll look at it with pride,
Knowing God,
He’ll probably put you
At your loved one’s side.

Catherine Lennon

 

Easter.

Smiling little children with Jesus by their side.
All running free, no sin, no pain, celebrating Eastertide.
Playing chase and hide and seek, listen as a story’s told.
There is an Angel close at hand, always a hand to hold.
Their purity, their innocence, their contentment and their joy,
Shines in the eyes and through the heart of every girl and boy.
Precious little Millie Grace we ache to have you here
To see you grow and see your face we yearn to hold you near.
But alas, it’s not to be, patiently we must wait
Until the time is right for us to meet at heaven’s gate.

Written by Brenda Wilshire Easter 2005 for her granddaughter Millie

 

Fred

Like a whisper you were here,
            And then you were gone.
A momentary flash,
            And then my heart crashed.

So much to hope for,
           A dream shattered
           - fallen to the floor.
           A window opened
           -a closed door.

How to cope without you?
How to know what to do?
Scared to look,
            Scared to close the book.

Where to go from here?
How to shed a tear?
How to let go of all that pain?
How to remain sane?

You were more than just a dream,
            You were real
           - I felt pain.

You were my third child,
Your soul was good.
It was innocence personified.

I get ready to receive you here.
I try to relieve all that fear,
Accept that you have gone,
Hold a light and move on.

How can I move on?
Understand that you have gone,
Get over July
            And try not to cry.

Fred, you were so real.
My pain at your loss
            Will never heal
It may ease
           a strange release,
Of something positive,
            Something good,
Something that should never
            Be understood.
You had a heart,
            A soul.
You were my son,
            My whole.

Just because you have gone
Doesn’t mean I don’t care.
It means I love you.
The pain I’ll have to bear,
Is something that I will have to share.

As I move on –
Release myself from this snare.
As I move on –
You will not be forgotten.

You will be with me,
Every hour, every second
            Of every day.
You are more than a dream, a memory.
You are real –
Something to feel,
Someone to grieve,
Someone to relieve.

As your light goes out,
And you go to heaven.
I brace myself to ride the storm,
           a myriad of emotions,
thrown up in slow emotion.

How can I let you go?
When I have only just           
            Met you, so.
How can I lay you to rest
            In the ground?
And then walk away
            And leave you behind –.

All alone in the earth
I think of your second birth.
As you ascend to heaven
It is with God that I must send.

I send you with all my love,
Circled by angels,
            Guided by a dove.
To some paradisical land,
            Way up above.

God will guard you now,
And one day when the time is right,
           I will come and join you,
And our love will shine so bright.

Good night Fred,
            Be not afraid,
For you are not alone,
            You have been saved.

 

                                                With lots of love
                                                            Mummyxxxx
                                                                        22nd May 2004, 7pm.

© Sophia Cross

 

REFLECTION

There`s a fine line between
            Life and death
One solitary moment,
One quickness of breath.

It is something that will affect us all,
One by one we will silently fall.
Learn to face our fears,
Hide beneath the shadows of silent tears.

                                                27/5/2004

© Sophia Cross

 

ALICE

Alice stared out to space
Trying to wonder what was out of place
She wondered for quite a while,
And then gradually started to smile.

What had happened to mummy’s tummy
Was really rather funny.
One minute she was quite fat,
And then her tummy was pancake flat.

What she couldn’t quite understand
Was why mummy was so sad?
Why did she sometimes cry?
Turn away and try to hide.

What was hurting mummy so much inside.
It was only later she realised someone had died.
A baby boy not even a day old,
Had been taken from mummy and left her cold.

She remembered the grave,
                        A deep dark hole
Of flowers being thrown into save his soul.
She remembered the children playing around,
And the love that family abounds.

Everyone there for each other,
Everyone there consoling her mother,
She saw the love that family brings.
She saw the love of golden rings.
She saw the love that brings family together.
She saw the love they had for her brother.

And now when she sees her mother sad
She tries not to see it as something bad.
She thinks of all the love her mother had for her baby brother,
                        And all of them together. 
                                                                        27/5/2004

© Sophia Cross

 

This isn’t actually a poem, it’s a song by Enya that we played at Joshua’s funeral. I had listened to the album throughout my pregnancy, when I was staying in hospital, in an effort to relax and get some headspace, whilst sharing my room and life with other patients. We thought it was a good representation of our time with Joshua as he was born at midnight and died at 4am.


Fallen Embers, Enya, (track 2)

once, as my heart remembers,
all the stars were fallen embers,
once when night seemed forever,
I was with you.

once in the care of morning
in the air was all belonging.
once, when that day was dawning
I was with you.

How far we are from morning,
How far we are.
And the stars shining through the darkness,
Falling in the air,

Once as the night was leaving
Into us our dreams were weaving,
Once, all dreams were worth keeping,
I was with you.

Once, when our hearts were singing
I was with you.

 

My brother is a singer songwriter. He wrote this song for us when I was still pregnant with Joshua and knew that it may not work out.

Whether you arrive -  or whether you just travel back to God
Its been worth the knowing and worth the hope we’ve had
And whether you appear – or whether you hide yourself in heaven
We’ve gained from hearing your heartbeat

Every second has been well worth it
Every moment has been treasured now

So if this is all we get – don’t forget to meet us
On the other side – you can show us all around
You know I wish you’d stay – and share some life with us
But maybe it’s the better deal – to go home early

Every second has been well worth it
Every moment has been treasured now

Love is patient, love is kind
Love is tender, love can be blind
And so it is with us – till we see you
Whether it’s now – or later

Every second has been well worth it
Every moment has been treasured now.

Gareth Davies-Jones 2001